39. The Flying Dutchman

I know
I broke some
tacit rules
when calling out
my feelings
to you
cheated on
some answers
on your
questionnaire

but I guess
I sensed
the end
closing in
from all flanks
towards us

I went all in
and I lost

everything
but
my head

I knew
all odds
were against
but I still did
that's how stubborn
I am
sometimes

I would
but I won't
change
what's done

cos the more
marinated
in this thick sauce
of your memory
I am
the more certain
I am
of what I felt
and what I still feel

so sweep me
and kick me
under the rug
hide me
in one of your
mind's forgotten
corners
I'll just lay there
until
one day
you come
to dust me off
and pick me up
from the floor
you'll probably
find me
counting days
on the wall

no use in thinking
about the past
or the future

wrong or right
is a matter of
when

all I have is now

and the echo
of the weird noises
my kisses
made
when landing
on your lips
and how I
couldn't avoid
mentioning it
as you smiled
back at me
listening
to my wandering words
laying your head
on the scar
in my chest