73. The Prestige's stuntman

I was lost 'til I found you
Now these songs will hold and hide your name
All it was, was all about you
Since that night, the moon has never seemed the same

Dermot Kennedy - Lost

as the coffee-drenched
vapor flows up
and finds its way up
to finally hit my nose thrills

a sudden rush of you
comes to my aid
and takes me away
from the boredom
and mind wandering
of this strange friday

I was longing for you
so badly
and it feels so good
to hear your image
knocking on my door
once again

I let you into my place
where all the working
typing thinking
drawing planning
and daydreaming
takes place

nevermind
the mess on my desk

these stacks of papers
in an orderly chaos
I only understand
are well organized
just the way they are sitting

like my memories
of you
which I can shuffle
anyway I want
and still
make sense

because our story
is definitely not
linear
but a circle one
like that
coffe cup stain
on my desk
that this natural born
procrastinator
has left untouched
because he treasures
every little mark
every scar
and every detail
you've left
on him
and inside him
after you vanished

and you may ask
why am I still standing here
like a fool in the rain
I wouldn't know
the answer
as I always go by guts

but this burning inside
tells me
I still have you hidden
in the tiny gaps
that exist
between my words
when I was suppoused
to break them apart

today I remembered
the first time
I heard your voice
and how I miss it
ever since
though we didn't talk
that much

we mostly wrote
and used body language
but ended up
touching each other's
souls

when I'm out driving
and I hold the gear stick
with my right hand
I still miss yours
over mine

before I forget
I wanted to ask you
one thing

please let me imagine
you're giving me
that magical smile
once again
as you're reading
these final
lines