87. Blame it on the North wind and the barometric pressure

as I sit and watch

my fingers hammering

the keys 

on my keyboard

in a choreographic coordination

I've come to find

that I'm feeling

increasingly jaded

with the outside world

a place

where I seem 

not to belong

some people

around me

seem foreign 

to it too

the rest

is toxics filled

smoke

but time is still 

passing through us

ripping a little skin

and taking away

a fistful

of our youth

with every pass

I inevitably ache 

for my offspring

but I accept

they are a piece of me

not a piece of mine

maybe it is

the infinite

empty feeling

that can not fit in my chest

the one 

of never being able 

to repay the love

I was nourished with

and tough I feel you

inexplicably close to me

I still can not figure

where is it

that you're standing

a year and two thirds

may seem like 

so little time

whenever I look at myself

in the mirror

but it felt like

half of a lifetime to me

since the day

I met you

when everything else 

feels uncertain

and looks blurry

nowadays

there's only some things

some small ones

that make sense 

to me

like a laugh around the table

or lifting my kids up in my arms

everytime I see them

while I still can

and your clear image

in my mind

every single day