72. At the edge of tomorrow

I go out and walk
the streets
that have your name
carved in each stone
and start to feel
like I'm floating
above town

my eyes
are out of focus
the crowd
has no faces
I lost sight
for everything else
the first time
I saw you

I wish
I could ride the wind
to go home to you
and tell you
how much I've been
missing you
as I caress
your blushed
right cheek
with the tips
of my warm lips

what you left
inside me
evolved
into something
that pride
hate
or sadness
will never reach

I know
there's a chance
these words
might discomfort
even scare you
and make you doubt
of my maturity
or life experiences
as you watch
the great impact
you've caused
in me

and all I can say
it is all true
but oddly enough
I don't mind
as long as it's you

you've hit my
reset button
when I thought
it was game over

maybe it's daydreaming
but I think
this is something
I get only once
in a lifetime
so I might as well
keep it
at least for me

you see
I expect
nothing from you
you have already
given me
everything
I could ever hope for

it's just that
there might be
an inner process
that is taking place
now
without me
even knowing
we're constatly
moving inside
even when we
seem to be
still and frozen
and
any given day
maybe I'll be able
to finally
let go

because I think
the self committed you
needs that
but you won't
ask me to
so I'm sorry
for my selfishness
in this matter
I am consciously
slow
and a bit blind
when it comes
to realizing
some things

like
trascend
separteness

but I'm
also committed

to never let you
forget me

71. The time traveler wife

it could all be so simple

I want to be
where your
mind is
right now

lend me your
time machine

you don't need
to pretend
no more
I just caught you
red-handed
that coffee machine
it's not there just for
making coffee
I know
you've been traveling
back and forth
so tell me
what's next
for me

cause
despite
what I do
what I say
you always
seem to be
ahead

ninety nine
and a half
percent
of the time
I want to leave

but then
I see you
and my plans
crumble
like castles
in the sand

maybe
it is just me
that's caught up
I thought
about this
many
many
times

I figured
you have
all the answers
right in your hands
so tell me
what's in it
still for me

all my memories
of you
are still very alive
but it's the same one
I might find
if I went roaming
the streets
looking
for you

paying attention
to all kinds of cars
now
with no particular
marks

down the streets
I have highlighted
on my map
where I might
find you

the same roads
I avoid taking
at a certain time

but lucky you
for you can
go back

and hide
behind a curtain
to see us
running
a persian empire
or
night chllin
at the foot
of Mount Fuji
watching
an old painter
trying to capture
the moment
just like us

all I have
are your recent
postcards
from early
this year

though I
would choose
them over
any one
any time

I know
I found you
this time around
trying to be
the good wife

and I
sincerely
would never
want to
avoid you
from being
the person
you want to

I feel like
Major Tom
finally
touching ground
safe

I think about
how crazy and
unnecessary
is to choose
danger
when we can
have peace and quiet

of course
in a dream land
in the past
or in the future
I'm having this peace
with you
and
the very thought of it
warms me
to the tip of my toes

but not today

and part
of growing up
is accepting
and embracing
what comes
how it comes

you might
have deciphered
by now
that I've been going
through each
of your songs
old ones
new ones
instrumentals
as if I'm working
on a case
trying to find
a clue
or some lead
I might have
overlooked
at the time
due to the hype
of you

don't worry
about me
all that you have
left in me
is but good

I go out
at times
with friends
and hearing
their stories
I see
there is no story
that can be
compared
to you

but since
I can't take you
out on the spotlight

I just smile
inside
and rub my
right hand
over the scar
you have left
in my heart

I'm stepping through the door

and I'm floating in a most peculiar way 

and the stars look very different today 

For here Am I sitting in a tin can 

far above the world 

Planet Earth is blue 

and there's nothing I can do

70. A darker shade of blue

When routine bites hard 

And ambitions are low 

And resentment rides high 

But emotions won't grow 

And we're changing our ways 

Taking different roads 

Love, love will tear us apart again

Joy Division - Love will tear us apart

I go through
my days
knowing
I'll never find
another you

so I don't look
as I walk

my sight
is fixed
on a blurry mirage
far beyond
far from here
far from now

I don't want
another

it may sound
sad
but I know
I must have
played around
on true feelings
of others
before
and this is
what I'm getting
now

and it is not
you to blame
I'd never ever
put this on you

you're just playing
along the script
you've been handed
because
this is
but an eternal loop
with no ending

maybe
James was right
that time
when he sang
it was time
to face the truth

and that I'll never
be with you

I think maybe
you'd still
remember
that spoiler scene

I cherish
you
and the series
of events
that took place
for us to meet

for I see time
as an illusion
of our minds

I feel
we're still
meeting
everyday

and that thrill
I've felt
the first time
never left
and will never
go away

I see us
living our lives
parallel to each other
but crossing paths
never again

and it's fine now
I'll embrace
whatever life
has to bring

I'm sharing
this joy
you brought
to me
with my
offspring

watching them
grow
amazing me
every
single day
in every single way
you wouldn't imagine
so close
to my heart
and feeling
true unconditional
love for them
the only kind
there is

but knowing
they
are not really
mine

they are
through me
of life

like you

maybe
you'll meet them
one day
all grown up
on our first
sunday brunch

maybe you are
meeting them now
as you were reading
this again
for the
seven hundredth time
and left your phone
on the kitchen counter
as the doorbell rang
to welcome them
home
cause I was
with my hands
all over the preps

who knows

sorry
if this
doesn't sound
as romantic
as my previous
writings

but I had this
struck of images
I wanted to share
with you

though I
don't know
where you are
standing
now

I know
I may sound strange
almost
like a monk
finally reaching 
enlightenment

I mean
I could go
celibate too
and I wouldn't mind

cause
I want
no one else
but you

and after
all this
nothing
has changed

and I also know
I acted strange
many times
and I'm sincerely sorry
for then
and for how
I'm sounding now


for keeping quiet
and just pretending
has not been easy


I know

nothing
worth for
ever
is

I'm not being
condescending

I know things
have been
far from easy
for you too

so
I'll just
keep
sending
my best
thoughts
words
wishes
strenght

my
best
everything
to you

everything
I am allowed to
I always
will

69. Early edition

a mashup of mirages, present and past

it's
still you
I think about
in the morning
as I draw
the curtains
and watch
the world outside
unfolding

then
I begin
to wonder
where you are
now
what you're doing
what you're wearing
are you moody?

honey
it's been
a while

but it's still
that same old
feeling
as I pour myself
some coffee
and I imagine
that empty cup
you left forgotten

only to get
a sudden
shot of blue
thinking
of your smile

a slideshow
of your images
go through
my mind

then
I get up
and face
another day

keep pushing
forward
inch by inch
everyday
anyway